Monday, February 24, 2014

Spell check corrects "farseer" to GARDENER..... ominous, auspicious or just obvious?

     "Where is Doug?", the same inquiry made over and over again. The lamentations of the truly disappointed and near suicidal masses were all that could be heard, yesterday at Great Escape Games.  The throng of Twin Linked Competitors could hardly suffer the absence of their most inspiring comrade and brother general...Douglas Bevard the 3rd, AKA: Shotdownmind, AKA Amazing Tits, AKA DB3.
     Only the Saint himself, Mark Broughton, could console them.  The Saint bore a mysterious banner tied up and held in reverence.  Rumors were floating on the winds of whispered words that the work Mark held was none other than a holy work.  A holy work that was commissioned by the Saint to commemorate a great victory of Douglas',  a victory that to took place on that very soil where they all stood now.
     An unrequested silence took hold of the crowd as Mark stepped up to address us.  Not a single cough, nor mutter heard as he spoke, and speak he did. Lord Broughton had a way of speaking that reached the back of a room easily, yet caressed the front row with intimacy.  The greatest of remembrancer dare not cannibalize such graceful oratory with apathetic verbatim(and so I will not).  At the end, Mark untied the giant banner and held it aloft.  Tears streamed and children beamed with intensity as grown men sobbed or screamed in ectasy.  The glory the banner depicted and the sheer artisan with which the banner was created was overwhelming.  A man, who seemed both worthy and humble, stepped forward to fasten the banner onto the wall.  That was when the crowd's emotion climaxed and spontaneous singing erupted, along with blood lusting and the orgies.  Sacrifices were later made(of all types) to appease the Pantheon and / or the Emperor and beseech divine approval.

     I hear tell that the pace and fervor with which the banner has been beholden has not slackened in the 24 hours since it was presented.  Even now the chanting of "Long live the Wolfbrothers!" and "Death to the Enemies of the Wolfbrothers!" assault my thoughts like a freshly burned retina.   Yay, the glory and righteousness of the Wolfbrothers is great.  Forever may they slay for slaying's sake.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

What kind of rat bastard psychotic would play that song- right now, at this moment?

"For Ease of Tournament Play"

Last weekend our love of MURDER on the tabletops took us on a trip to Glorious Las Vegas!

It was a great vacation, and in between the frequent sessions of  gambling, drinking and carousing we found time to play some 40k against some of the most cutthroat lists and generals in the business. 

If anything the Frontline folks can sure bring it all together. They told us they wanted to be the Adepticon of the WestCoast, and they are sure on the right path with the turnout, the location, rules council and hobby scoring. There was a real lack of vendors and side events and seminars that would normally be found at such an expensive and large event, but Im sure they will do better next time.

Wolfbrothers represented with Six generals. The Murder Machine Andrew, Mr Blonde (General Bass,) and Forest "the Wrecking Ball" Johnson making serious runs on day two at the top eight. Mr Orange (Jayson Guy) almost won the Axe with 4 total battle points during the event. 

We met up, battled, ate and drank with many of our honor brothers and lone wolves from Sacramento. We even inducted legendary brother Sirus into the WOLFBROTHERS. There are many paths to becoming a Wolfbrother, but there are no ways out. 

Overall the event was amazing. A lot of that came from the weight of so many brutal generals under one roof. The grandeur of Vegas filled out the rest: this was no fairground gathering far from food and drink - THIS motherfucker was in the heart of Sin City itself. With travel and accommodations so easy, it was hard not to have a great time. 

There was A LOT of people there. The Fantasy and Warmahoarde tournaments were in full swing. There were very few vendors present, and the convention bar was expensive but much closer and cheaper then the casino bar. The low point of the trip was Sunday. On the 3rd day of the event, in the center of Las Vegas, the Doubles event started at 9am - and there were no other events for 40k players that day. What a let down.

On day 3 we nursed our hangovers with great burgers, trips through the casino, hanging out with great friends from Cali and beyond, and watching the Top 8 duke it out.

As I watched the Flaming Lips Craftworld do its victory lap on Sunday it was explained to me that the ZeroComp/Frontline house rules under the guise of the "IGTC FAQ" were implemented to give opponents of the Obviously Broken 2++ Seercouncil some peace of mind, a mental chance that they might be able to win the game vs such broken and untested units and rules. The Expert Hats understood that the rule changes and houserules had little effect on the game in the end results.  In almost the same breath it was explained further that Experts with their Expert Hats and everything had already exhaustively tested Stronghold and Escalation and found them to be entirely unworthy of any type of tournament consideration or play.  

This second part is something we have all come to expect from the Old Guard since 6th edition hit us with its obviously broken allies, double force org, terrain placement, flyers, 6 mission formats, and mysterious stuffs. Remember - the sky was truly falling. Even the INATesq FAQ and Rules Council these old guard TOs are hiding behind is par for the course, but the idiotic explanation that their house rules were implemented to give folks a mental chance and not actually impact the game is the most revolting demoralizing thing I have ever heard, straight from the mouth of one of the most hardcore tournament players and organizers I have ever met or respected. 

“But our trip was different. It was a classic affirmation of everything right and true and decent in the national character. It was a gross, physical salute to the fantastic possibilities of life in this country-but only for those with true grit. And we were chock full of that."