Thursday, April 3, 2014

Warhammer 40k is dead. Long live Reecehammer

The title say it all.  Frontline Gaming, formerly Zero Comp(most ironic thing ever) has taken it upon themselves to "balance" the game of 40k and in so doing have ruined everything that was good and right in the world.  To them I say "figure out how to run your store before you go changing the entire game of 40k".  Last week Reece suggested rule additions and point change costs.  Not only is it ok to nerf some units, apparently it's within their divine providence to power up others...  The gall of it all is unbelievable and sickening.  That is all.

Monday, February 24, 2014

Spell check corrects "farseer" to GARDENER..... ominous, auspicious or just obvious?

     "Where is Doug?", the same inquiry made over and over again. The lamentations of the truly disappointed and near suicidal masses were all that could be heard, yesterday at Great Escape Games.  The throng of Twin Linked Competitors could hardly suffer the absence of their most inspiring comrade and brother general...Douglas Bevard the 3rd, AKA: Shotdownmind, AKA Amazing Tits, AKA DB3.
     Only the Saint himself, Mark Broughton, could console them.  The Saint bore a mysterious banner tied up and held in reverence.  Rumors were floating on the winds of whispered words that the work Mark held was none other than a holy work.  A holy work that was commissioned by the Saint to commemorate a great victory of Douglas',  a victory that to took place on that very soil where they all stood now.
     An unrequested silence took hold of the crowd as Mark stepped up to address us.  Not a single cough, nor mutter heard as he spoke, and speak he did. Lord Broughton had a way of speaking that reached the back of a room easily, yet caressed the front row with intimacy.  The greatest of remembrancer dare not cannibalize such graceful oratory with apathetic verbatim(and so I will not).  At the end, Mark untied the giant banner and held it aloft.  Tears streamed and children beamed with intensity as grown men sobbed or screamed in ectasy.  The glory the banner depicted and the sheer artisan with which the banner was created was overwhelming.  A man, who seemed both worthy and humble, stepped forward to fasten the banner onto the wall.  That was when the crowd's emotion climaxed and spontaneous singing erupted, along with blood lusting and the orgies.  Sacrifices were later made(of all types) to appease the Pantheon and / or the Emperor and beseech divine approval.

     I hear tell that the pace and fervor with which the banner has been beholden has not slackened in the 24 hours since it was presented.  Even now the chanting of "Long live the Wolfbrothers!" and "Death to the Enemies of the Wolfbrothers!" assault my thoughts like a freshly burned retina.   Yay, the glory and righteousness of the Wolfbrothers is great.  Forever may they slay for slaying's sake.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

What kind of rat bastard psychotic would play that song- right now, at this moment?

"For Ease of Tournament Play"

Last weekend our love of MURDER on the tabletops took us on a trip to Glorious Las Vegas!

It was a great vacation, and in between the frequent sessions of  gambling, drinking and carousing we found time to play some 40k against some of the most cutthroat lists and generals in the business. 

If anything the Frontline folks can sure bring it all together. They told us they wanted to be the Adepticon of the WestCoast, and they are sure on the right path with the turnout, the location, rules council and hobby scoring. There was a real lack of vendors and side events and seminars that would normally be found at such an expensive and large event, but Im sure they will do better next time.

Wolfbrothers represented with Six generals. The Murder Machine Andrew, Mr Blonde (General Bass,) and Forest "the Wrecking Ball" Johnson making serious runs on day two at the top eight. Mr Orange (Jayson Guy) almost won the Axe with 4 total battle points during the event. 

We met up, battled, ate and drank with many of our honor brothers and lone wolves from Sacramento. We even inducted legendary brother Sirus into the WOLFBROTHERS. There are many paths to becoming a Wolfbrother, but there are no ways out. 

Overall the event was amazing. A lot of that came from the weight of so many brutal generals under one roof. The grandeur of Vegas filled out the rest: this was no fairground gathering far from food and drink - THIS motherfucker was in the heart of Sin City itself. With travel and accommodations so easy, it was hard not to have a great time. 

There was A LOT of people there. The Fantasy and Warmahoarde tournaments were in full swing. There were very few vendors present, and the convention bar was expensive but much closer and cheaper then the casino bar. The low point of the trip was Sunday. On the 3rd day of the event, in the center of Las Vegas, the Doubles event started at 9am - and there were no other events for 40k players that day. What a let down.

On day 3 we nursed our hangovers with great burgers, trips through the casino, hanging out with great friends from Cali and beyond, and watching the Top 8 duke it out.

As I watched the Flaming Lips Craftworld do its victory lap on Sunday it was explained to me that the ZeroComp/Frontline house rules under the guise of the "IGTC FAQ" were implemented to give opponents of the Obviously Broken 2++ Seercouncil some peace of mind, a mental chance that they might be able to win the game vs such broken and untested units and rules. The Expert Hats understood that the rule changes and houserules had little effect on the game in the end results.  In almost the same breath it was explained further that Experts with their Expert Hats and everything had already exhaustively tested Stronghold and Escalation and found them to be entirely unworthy of any type of tournament consideration or play.  

This second part is something we have all come to expect from the Old Guard since 6th edition hit us with its obviously broken allies, double force org, terrain placement, flyers, 6 mission formats, and mysterious stuffs. Remember - the sky was truly falling. Even the INATesq FAQ and Rules Council these old guard TOs are hiding behind is par for the course, but the idiotic explanation that their house rules were implemented to give folks a mental chance and not actually impact the game is the most revolting demoralizing thing I have ever heard, straight from the mouth of one of the most hardcore tournament players and organizers I have ever met or respected. 

“But our trip was different. It was a classic affirmation of everything right and true and decent in the national character. It was a gross, physical salute to the fantastic possibilities of life in this country-but only for those with true grit. And we were chock full of that."

Saturday, December 14, 2013

WINTERS HARD - So have some Pancakes...

Last weekend once again we riled up the orneriest Wolfbrothers we could find and made our way right through an awesome snow storm to hand out Epic MURDER in the stomping grounds.  This time the occasion was the Twin Linked Grand Tournament hosted at the always amazing Great Escape Games, Sacramento. We had been overly excited in the weeks leading up to this TWO DAY event. Almost nothing compares to the anticipation as the Twin Linked Series is easily our most favorite tournament to attend for the sheer amazingness of the event, but mostly for the absolute brutal awesomeness of the enemy Generals that would be in attendance.

We could not possibly praise this event or venue or the tournament organizer Mark any higher. The tournament is always ran with the highest level of professionalism and the teams always bring the highest level of competition. This tournament was no different, except it was truely a GRAND Tournament with Six games over Two Days. Great Job Mark and team. Everything was expected to be incredible and was, and just got better and better throughout the event. The schwag and prizes were Uncanny, and the fun was never ending from the MURDER on the tabletops to the Bonn Lair and back again! We cant wait for our next trip to Sacramento, and will not miss a Tournament ran by Mark in the future.

Everything was provided throughout the tournament. There was never a entry packet or stack of paperwork to fill out. We didn't even have to bring copies of our lists for our opponents as we submitted our lists a week early and everyone was provided with ample mission and army list packets at check in. The staff awarded their favorite painted armies with entry into the Army Parade - a separate area where the armies were on display after game 3 and before the start of the 2nd day's events. The Tournament ran smoothly and on time, round pairings, breaks, and game end were spot on the schedule. Some of it was mind blowing for an event of any size. 

It was on the very second we arrived at the Tournament (literally!) Everyone obviously wanted a piece of everyone and the atmosphere was thick with competition. We couldent wait, we wanted First Blood. We had to track down and rescue one of the Pack before we even started our Journey over the Mountain, we wanted MURDER! Wolfbrothers 1st and 2nd were unleashed! 

Our favorite match was round 5 versus Cody Jiru and his partner Ray. Everyone knows DE beastpacks are for noobs and at 4-0 we had finally pulled our ancient rival. It was an epic game, the only time we stole Initiative the entire tournament, and crazy cinematic shit went down on the table. In the end we torched their Army and pulled off a 6inch charge with an Eternal Warrior, scoring, Relic holding Baron that would have resulted in a tie if it had been 7inches or more. 

Sirus hunkered down to watch our 6th game. He couldent believe a DE noobpack could make it 5-0.

After a tense back and forth first turn full of top table murder and action, we had a smooth game and locked down the final match during turn three. With Space Wolves in drop pods they Seized and dropped a Jaws-Priest on one side of our deployment lined up to snuff a handful of artillery pieces a bunch of beasts, and our Warlord. the Sieze was repaid in full when we rolled a 6 to Deny the Witch on Jaws. The game was intense at first but we set down a decisive win after a few turns of battle. 


Mark! You do such a great job man! Keep up the Hard Work! And remember to call on the Wolfbrothers if you ever need anything! 

We are not sure what these jokers won, but we sure hope it was best Sports or favorite opponent. The game we played was awesome and they really gave us a fight even after we stole initiative. Everything came down to one Beast charge in the end, it was great! Thanks guys! 

Wolfbrothers 2nd went all the way as well. They finished the tournament 5-1 - 3rd overall, and saw their only defeat go down in flames on the top table to Wolfbrothers 1st. They clobbered anything that even looked mean, and probably kept the meanest of the enemy lists/generals away from our Pairings by defeating them early and often. Most of their games ended with the absolute annihilation of their opponent's armies, they won by table many times throughout the event. At the end of Day one they were the top seeded 3-0 Team, and with more than a few Apple ciders in us that night, and not enough Whiskey, THE WOLFBROTHERS had sure put a CLOBBER on the Stomping grounds, and that shit was only half over! 

Wolfbrothers One went 6-0 for Best Overall. The Event was everything we could have hoped for and more, and putting the absolute smack down on it was the icing on the cake. The MURDER on the tabletops was EPIC beyond belief. HOWL you mangy dogs of war!!!! Thanks for everything!