Saturday, May 24, 2014

Goin' around your ass to get to your elbow...

Finally the New 7th Edition Rulebook has arrived and we can look forward to the newest incarnation of the wild wild west. Rules changes, Rule "fixes", the New Psychic Phase, Allies in all Directions, SUPER HEAVY WALKERS, D Weapons, Reserve Shennanigans, and many other fun tweaks and updates. Excitement here, as we have a new Bible to War over. HOWL!!!

The Expert Hats are Pissed Off and Rowdy! The 7th Edition rulebook amounts to an almost simple update to the last ruleset, including pretty much every change GW has published throughout the life of the last edition - dataslates, supplemental codex, Inquisition, Imperial knights, Stronghold, and Escalation. Its a compilation of all the stuff they said they were going to do, did and then have had to re-do because their actions and words were being written off as unintentional and uninformed. Almost every major pushback to their ruleset was addressed in systematic order. A big and obvious Fuck You to certain Expert Hat Clans that have been re-writing the game in huge casual rule changing sweeps. 

Sadly, the Expert Hats warned us over the last couple weeks that if the New Rulebook wasent up to their standards, they were ready and willing to make the appropriate changes, fixes, and corrections necessary For Ease Of Tournament Play. As soon as some solid leaks hit the internetz they immediately praised the similarities to the last ruleset as easy to implement and kindly thanked GW for putting all the new crappy stuff into neat little sections that could be easily cut out and ignored.  

Now less than 1 day after the release of the New Rulebook, the Expert Hats have already exhaustively tested all of the updates, changes and additions. They have each popped out their mandatory 5 page essay on the good the bad and the solvable, and have already presented us with a list of changes, limitations, and outright bans to fix the game that they love to hate. At least the last time we got a new rulebook they pretended to test stuff for at least a week before starting their piss parade.

Are we going to let them feed us the same shit again? We are going to knowingly stand around and watch them build the machine without all the parts? When they start to complain about thier broken metagame and layer us all with another set of changes, who will be the true idiots? Please dont drink the kool aid!!!

We need to play the game this time before we go about fucking it up. We need to start at the very beginning and work through this like we aren't a frenzied mob of pure idiot followers. I am Douglas Of Wolfbrothers, and I love to play 40k. I just paid a $100 Expert Hat tax because the Expert Hats want to Sell us their version of 40k and literally put the profit into their pockets.  They remind us all the time of how Much money Is involved in the 40k business as a way of dazzling the crowd into purchasing the latest finely packaged snake oil product. In the same breath they will declare loudly that they want to be fully inclusive of all (take everyone's money) - but if you dont like their show, then shut the fuck up, and go somewhere else, or do it yourself.

Obviously that kind of shit is par for the course in every industry, every endeavor - they just get away with it more and with less effort in a community full of toy painters. We should reject and resist this hijacking of the game. As the Expert Hats love to remind us - they are innovators, and are fully invested in their reputations as such. Its actually one of the reasons they are Experts, after all. 

Right now they are telling us how fucked up it all is. How much time and effort and money they have put into becoming Experts and that we need to keep investing in them to show us the light and run tournaments for us. Its the only way. The game they have fully tested in less than 24 hours is so broken that their way is NEEDED, and that is Obvious, and that you are a Crazy Idiot Heretic if you even consider thinking otherwise. Then they will say either Pay Up or Fuck Off - they are in charge and know it.

Is your decision is to pay the $100 Expert Hat Tax, and then pay up how many thousands of dollars to some assholes to tell you all the shit inside it you cant use, For Ease Of Tournament Play?

Start at the beginning. Lets play the missions. Lets play the rules as written for a bit here before we start fucking it up. Lets actually have something to complain about before we send in SWAT. Lets find some shit that Is Actually Fucked up on the tabletop in the Actual game as intended and Nuke that shit very specifically if we all decide its necessary. Lets come up with an actual way for us to all decide these things instead of blindly following and parroting the loudest assholes with the coolest cranial apparel. Lets do this with at least some semblance of dignity and brain power instead of just swallowing because we are told to. 

Lets play 40k! Lets destroy and murder each other on the tabletops! Lets knock off this professionally choreographed pottery exhibition - and if we are going to start paying FIVE FIGURES for catering at a Grand Tournament that has a list of donts longer than the $100 rulebook, we sure as fuck better be getting Tangerine Lobster Rangoons and Champagne Mimosas delivered to us during the game. Was the last Con you attended actually worth your dollars? 


  1. I agree with this post and for the same reasons I stay way from forums.

  2. The Tyranids can ally with themselves. God is in his heaven and all is right with the world.